So you’re thinking about bringing your child to counseling? Or maybe you came for the parent-only intake appointment, and you are soon bringing your child to their first session. Today I will outline some important talking points and do’s and don’ts about preparing your child for his or her first counseling appointment.

It’s true, some children need minimal reassurance in this process. They’re ready to talk and play and they generally trust easily. Others, however, may be deeply unnerved by the idea. After all, they have likely bottled up their experiences because they’re painful, and having to unpack that pain doesn’t sound very fun.

“The way you explain counseling to your child can advance their readiness, openness, and overall success.”

Obviously the explanation you give will vary by factors like age, maturity, development, intelligence, and their respective difficulties, but below I give you some scripting ideas for preparing your child for their first appointment. I encourage you to have the conversation face to face, in a relaxed and trusted environment. Make eye contact and share touch that is supportive and familiar.

Discuss it face-to-face in a relaxed environment

First, tell the child you have met the counselor and you know they will like her (or him). How reassuring to know your parent has already made sure this is a safe and kind person!

Next, explain why you think it will be beneficial in very simple terms. Then explain what they will get to do. Modern child therapy isn’t the cartoonish Freudian chaise lounge many adults imagine. It’s fun, creative, and educational. Maybe even give an example of some things you saw in the room that they’d like (Lego’s, art, books, etc.).
Admit that you have some things to learn, too. It lowers barriers and a child’s need to “have it all together” when they see their parent admitting that they don’t. Okay, on to some scripting ideas:

Ages 4-6

Hey there, you know how you have been having a hard time with X (controlling your emotions, feeling happy, getting along with X person, focusing at school)? So I met someone pretty neat the other day. She said she understands why that has been hard, and has some fun ideas for helping us figure that out. She has a playroom and fun things to do so you can play and color and learn more about yourself and how to do X better. Her name is Mrs. Kailey and I’ll take you to meet her soon so you can play and talk together. I’ll go along and sometimes she will help me, too.

Do you have any questions?… How do you feel about going to meet her? It may sound (scary/weird) but I know you can do this. We will do it together.

Ages 7+

Hey there, you know how you have been having a hard time with X (controlling your emotions, feeling happy, getting along with Xperson, focusing at school)? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help you with that more. I’ve been thinking that someone else could probably give us some ideas on how to help you move forward. I met a counselor named Mrs. Kailey the other day and I think you’ll really like her. She uses art and books and stuff to help kids work on some of their challenges. So you and I will go together for you to meet her and see the place. You’ll get to know each other and she will help us figure X thing out together. She will even help me with some new ideas, too!

Do you have any questions?… How do you feel about going to meet her? It may sound (scary/weird) but I know you can do this. We will do it together.

After the conversation, I also recommend that you show your child the photos of the counselor and the office. Eliminating the unknowns helps reduce anxiety for anyone. Don’t be surprised if your child asks questions later, or shows some anxiety or even resistance the first day. Be encouraging and open; affirm his apprehension (it’s understandable!); remind her that she is brave.

If you have questions or concerns about your child’s psychological, social, or emotional well-being, please reach out to me or another trusted professional. Kailey@miraclecitycounseling.com or 407. 917. 6828.

All the best,

Kailey Mahan

LMHC

Going beyond "you're going to counseling"